his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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