It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize