dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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