i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
