He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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