He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
