So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize