wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
