Don't you send me to vm
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
