Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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