This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
