Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
