I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
