i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
