Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
