I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I want to make a zoo with you.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
