How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
