You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize