Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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