What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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