If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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