Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
