So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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