I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
