why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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