opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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