i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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