Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
