So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
