Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he shaved USA in his pubs
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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