Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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