But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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