i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
smell my finger.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
