I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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