i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
