1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
