porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
