I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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