hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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