idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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