Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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