My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
