He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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