I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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