dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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