I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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