i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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