she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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