I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
