I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
