You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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