"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
