smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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