Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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