Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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