I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
