I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
either way he was missing a nipple.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
