and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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