I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
