I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
