Will you blow on my dice?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
