I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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