its not stalking. its research.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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