what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
