Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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