Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
