I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
