I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
