Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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