Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
