ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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