It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
