She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize