Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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